The Decision

My husband and I were talking the other day about what exactly made us decide to open up our relationship, but neither of us can really remember anything specific. We only remember the very first conversation about my bisexuality and how that opened the door we never want to shut again...

In my kitchen while fixing dinner one night, I admitted I'd had a threesome. Well, it wasn't an admission per se, it just wasn't something I'd ever talked about with anyone before. And I my husband's (then boyfriend's) reaction was predictably male: he was intrigued.

It had happened almost accidentally in grad school. Two of my best friends at the time (one guy, one girl) and I were drinking, smoking, and playing cards on the back porch...playing drinking games and getting drunk like we always did on Friday and Saturday nights. But this time, we started making bets. Which soon turned into stripping. Which eventually and inevitably led to the girl/girl makeout bet. And from the girl/girl makeout, we decided very nonchalantly and rationally to experiment... And that's the story of my first threesome.

What I didn't expect from that playful, curious decision to have sex with a woman was the sudden powerful realization that I was bisexual. There was a softness about my friend's body that I'd never experienced before. Her mouth was soft, her breasts were soft, her touch was soft. It was so different from the firmness of a man, so radically unexpected, I was stunned.

And after telling my husband about it and seeing his desire and curiosity, I wanted to do it again. For him. For me. For both of us...

And it sort of snowballed from there. He wanted me to talk about it while we were having sex. And I wanted to talk about it. From my descriptions and my desire, we felt safe enough to begin talking about the possibilities of allowing another woman into our bed... But how did we find her? And what were the rules?

We're still trying to that figure out...